Sometimes I think the Tarot works on me as much as it helps clients through me.
I never EVER thought I’d be doing this work.
Missionary? Sure. Teacher? Yes. Something else? Probably. Tarot reader? Hell no.
Why? Well, you know why. The stereotypical nonsense. I thought it was corny as shit. I had an image of my life and it wasn’t that.
But here I am, 16 years later, a Tarot reader/psychic/intuitive/whatever you want to call me. Life is a funny path and it’s good to laugh at myself.
What are some things that Tarot taught me?
- Confidence. Believe it or not, I was a super shy kid and struggled with insecurities. Often I hid that shyness with bravado but as I learned to navigate my fears — thank you, NYC #rip — and became a city teacher, my confidence grew. Then I walked away from teaching to start over in Tarot and thought, Who is going to listen to me? Are they going to think I’m a fraud? With each read, my abilities unveiled themselves and I slowly began to trust what I knew. With client feedback — mostly positive but some not so much — I adjusted what I could do better to connect with them. Flexibility is best friends with confidence.
- Trust. As I’ve mentioned before. being an entrepreneur is a life of faith and trust, as much as devotion to your craft. Trust in myself and trust in God. So much of my success has come from referral, magical meetings and believing that I could be successful, though I didn’t have a clue how to build a Tarot biz, except one reading at a time. I learned from others more successful than me and tried different approaches. Most of all, I trusted that my bills would be paid and I would be taken care of. It was one of the hardest lessons of my life!
- Heal my relationship with men. Growing up, I was taught that women could not teach men in the church and this played out in relationships, as well. I experienced patriarchal dominance in family life, private school, biblical books, classes and sermons. I was a woman with my own thoughts, opinions and brilliance and yet they were not welcome in that community. When I began to read for men — and they were few and far between because I’m sure I unconsciously blocked them — that same insecurity came up. Would they listen? Be arrogant? Mansplain? Hit on me? It took a long time to realize that I was in the power seat and they came for advice with an open mind. My male clients have played such an important role in healing my understanding of men.
- Acceptance of who I am. According to numerous past life reads, I’ve been a healer and seer for many lifetimes and have been killed / ostracized / damaged for it. (Just to be clear: I’m sure I was not a nice person in many, many lifetimes, too 😂) Yet I love a challenge and came back with the gifts of sensitivity and insight. Even if past lives are a creation of humans to deal with the mystery of existence, I still am who I am in a modern world that loves to dismiss the invisible, though that scorn has rapidly changed in the last few years. I’ve had to heal my own skepticism and religious indoctrination (still working on it) to accept who I am. Even if Doreen Virtue — the once queen of the “New Age” — believes that all Tarot readers/psychics are going to hell, I am who I am. To turn away from my gifts is to reject them and ultimately, reject the blessing that comes from utilizing them.