Vintage Shivaya: Richness

29. January 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: blog · Tags: , , , ,

{It always bears asking: what is true wealth? When times are tough financially — which is often in my life — I have to remind myself of this question. “Richness” is a vignette from The Reluctant Tarot Reader. Enjoy.}

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One friend has $700 worth of repairs on her car.

Another wonders how she’ll pay the rent to keep her cafe open.

Another has stopped eating meat because she can’t afford to buy it.

And another is blazing forward with her intuitive biz, better than ever.

I’m all for Abraham and the ‘law of attraction’. I love positive thinking — but not at the expense of acknowledging struggle.

Struggle is different from wallow. Struggle is empathy because yeah, I’ve been there. Time and time again.

Saturn is here roaming around my chart in this particular lifetime to teach me about money. Which means I’ve known wealth–and long for it again.

I’ve had to re-think and re-tune my ideas of richness, though. I wouldn’t be living in VT if I wanted to be successful on a strictly green basis. This is the state of healing, good vibes and gorgeous vistas. Not necessarily the land of fat cats & fatter wallets. Of course, it gives me pause when I hear about friends and the ensuing frustration when I can’t write a check to help them out. Wouldn’t that be great?

I want life to be easy. For them. For me. I’ve known plenty of rich people who struggle in their souls–but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

Hey, I’m not going to be one of those healers who’s all la-la about abundance. Not having money sucks.

I wonder why we’ve chosen this particular piece of paper to make the world go round?

I wonder what we can do to ease the stress of expense?

Sure, there are ways of being frugal. Or ways of spending like you don’t care. Or staying somewhere in the middle. But it’s the sense of ‘not enough’ that haunts. Where does that come from?

My needs are always met. Always. And when it comes to money, my bills are paid. It may be at the very last minute that cash arrives, but it comes. I have to keep reminding myself, though. It’s like I have this perpetual amnesia when it comes to fulfillment — or maybe I have a slight addiction to worry.

Either way, I keep being shaped by living in a world that requires money. It’s pretty odd. This year, I’ve made it my goal to be more like water, less like rock. To willingly receive support — whether financial or other — and make this ride smoother. 2011 is the year of smoothness. That includes coinage.

The law of attraction can’t work until I have compassion for where I am, right now. And that is a life well-lived with a pretty low bank account at the moment (“low” being a relative word, of course.) That contrast is either a thorn in my side or the magical place where everything transforms (5 of Pentacles, anyone?)

Because I do love the essence of money. I do love the ease it brings. I love tipping well. I especially love a Saab, Audi or BMW convertible. I love beauty–and money gives me access to certain types of beauty. I love paying my bills and having plenty left over.

And I love how Saturn teaches me to stay in place long enough for the lesson. If I resist, he just hangs around even longer until I finally get it. It’s about always having what I need but acknowledging the struggle. Enhancing the picture. You can still have enough while enhancing the picture. It doesn’t take away from the fundamental beauty and form. Every painter knows that.

Every painter also knows when it’s finished — or time to move onto another work (I’m the type that usually barrels through, tearing out my hair until it’s done. Big surprise.) The ‘law of attraction’ may not resonate for you. So what? Find what works. Find what brings ease. Trade in your car. Refinance. Be grateful for every little thing. This works wonders for an anxious mind.

Know that this too, shall pass. It always does.

Or just look up at the beautiful sky, take a breath and say, “Gimme the money, honey!”

Vintage Shivaya: Now Is The Time For Faith

19. January 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: blog · Tags: ,

{1/19/12: I wrote this piece during a very difficult period of my life in 2009. But even on the brightest of days, or the darkest moments — now is the time for faith.}

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Now is the time for faith. Now is the time when your soul is on the verge of being crushed, when there’s not enough money to pay rent or even a security deposit on a new place. When the struggle becomes overwhelming – now is the time for faith. Trust in our power, Raven — we’re here to help you. It’s our specific task to love and support you, wandering one. The list is long. Throw out the list. Give it to the wind. Put down your arms. Quit asking. We hear your every request. Even more, we hear the yearning of your heart, the slight movements of grandiose hope. Feel that freedom, every time, every time against your cheek when that soft wind passes around you. In the call of the osprey. The sleeping, meditative alligators (it’s only your fear; they just want to eat). You know hunger. You know what it means to blow through this world, one eye open, two eyes awake.

This passion, this death scene awakens you. Nothing to lose, Raven. All your cards on the table. Do you think we’d let you down at this precarious moment? Do you think we’d cash in and walk away?

Find your steps toward the truest answer – the calling freedom in your soul. You can do anything. You can live any way you choose. You can have that BMW. The beautiful girlfriend. That life of beauty and happiness. You have it now. You have it now. Reach out for it. Enjoy the essence and watch how the picture is laid out. It’s all here for you.

You are not alone – ever. All of your needs will always be met – and then some. Trust. Have faith. Hold your proud head high. Revel in this life. Delight in your freedom and everything you’ve built. So much more is coming your way – every day, next week, your entire life. Take it. Enjoy, Raven. Enjoy.

Notes To A Tarot Virgin

11. January 2012 · 6 comments · Categories: blog · Tags: , ,

First, congratulations on being brave. A Tarot reading may not seem like a big deal — they are “just cards” to some — but potentially wonderful insights are about to come into your life. It is a big deal.

Which leads up to my most important suggestion: know your reader. How? Google. Ask questions. Check up on them. Ask how long they’ve been doing Tarot. If they seem hesitant or offended, get the fuck out. No question. You wouldn’t hand your car to a mechanic without any background check or referral, would you? (And if you would, I can’t help you.) Don’t hand your mind and energy over to someone you don’t know.

Also, don’t be scared of any psychic or Tarot reader. The true ones are respectful guides and are very human and friendly. Avoid all others.

Don’t let cost get in your way. They are many awesome readers who charge well for their work. Again, it’s all in what you consider to be quality vs. quantity. One session with a well-regarded reader may last you for years, while a crappy one can last even longer. Once again, trust your gut. If you like the person, try not to balk at the price.

A Tarot reading will show a) how well you can speak up for yourself and b) whether you trust your own intuition. A reading isn’t about being blindsided with information that has no relevance to your life. Whatever question you are asking, you already know the answer. The cards simply illuminate. They’ll also show if you are lying to yourself, but a reading should never be accusatory or guilt-ridden. A Tarot reader has her own issues, so don’t forget: we’re human, just like you. 

If you trust your reader enough to begin, begin. Try to relax as much as you can. Taking a few breaths to quiet down is essential for a successful reading. Your responsibility is to remain as present as possible. Remain cautiously open until she gets into the cards. Focus on what you need. This is very difficult for some. Ask a question that revolves around you, even if it has to do with someone else. Such as: what can I learn about this conflict with X?

Some readers will take control of the reading right away, but most will ask what you want to know. I’m more of an interactive reader, so I ask my clients to shuffle the deck and focus on a question or situation.

Once the cards are back on the table, I’ll ask what you need to know. This startles some — as they are used to letting a psychic prattle on, telling them what to do. That’s not me — I’m too much of a teacher who needs the interaction. We both learn together.

Give the reader a few minutes to gather her thoughts — she may not jump right in. This doesn’t mean that it’s bad news. She’s allowing the message and picture to come through and merge together. Take a breath, and wait. It’s polite and many readers do not want the distraction of chatter or “filling in” the silence. However, there is always time later for questions and if a card or explanation isn’t clear, ask. Take a photo of the spread and look up each card, if need be. Your reader is a guide and will happily go over any part of the reading.

You may get nervous seeing cards upside down (reversed). Don’t be. Some readers will turn them upright, but I view reversed cards as filling out the entire scene. A few cards are actually very positive when reversed, depending on where they are placed.

Your reader should do everything in her power to make you feel at ease. This doesn’t mean that she’ll sugarcoat the truth. However, there is no place for spooky predictions or terrifying prognoses. You both share a common humanity. If they start saying you have a dark aura or need a longer reading at $$ cost to clear your ghosts, you know what to do, right? (If not, see above.)

And yes, you’re going to die someday. Let me get that out of the way right now. Don’t let the XIII Death card freak you. It’s truly one of the most beautiful cards in the Tarot.

You may feel overwhelmed, but any virginal experience is bound to have that quality. The way I see it — and I’ve read for thousands over the years — is that what you need from the reading will stay with you. Don’t stress if you can’t remember every little thing, or if your reader was off on a few points (I’d be more concerned if she was 100% accurate). The messages you need will stay with you. More than likely, you will hear the same ones over and over through different avenues. Be sure to listen.

And congrats. You’re no longer a Tarot virgin.

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