Becoming Friends With Clients

04. April 2012 · 4 comments · Categories: blog · Tags: , , , , ,

Can Tarot readers become friends with their clients?

Sure. I just wouldn’t continue reading cards for them.

This all goes back to the issue of boundaries — which many burned-out healers can surmise as the reason for their demise.

I’ve crafted a business out of the gift of my intuitive abilities. And that’s what it is: a business. I am hired for my “product”. Many thousands of clients have graced my life over the years — but I’m not friends with them. I don’t meet them for dinner or chat in great detail about my personal life. I may linger after a session with a few of my long-terms, but that’s as far as it goes.

Besides, that’s why I write books. It provides yet another window.

The less I know about my clients makes my intuition even sharper. If I become friends with them, it’s very difficult to maintain the emotional clarity and directness that is crucial for my sessions.

I get paid well for my work. Would I want a friend to pay me? No. There’s another boundary issue.

There’s a reason for that: my friends see many aspects, not just “Raven: the intuitive.” We share our lives — and I don’t have to always be “on”. I’ve become good friends with one or two who were initially clients but I don’t read their cards now, by choice. They understand my need to leave it at the office, so to speak.

With a client, I am friendly and accessible — but maintain a professional distance. They’re not paying me to be self-indulgent. They’re paying me to “see” — which draws upon my full powers.

It’s really not that complex. I separate my business life from my private life. Blame it on the years of teaching. I used to tell my students, “I’m not here to be your friend. I’m here to teach you.”

I need the separation that comes when a client leaves a session. I need to tuck away what I hear in my Lynx library — and then step into my life. It’s what keeps me healthy.

It makes life much simpler when boundaries are in place. It’s all about personal power.

Of what those boundaries are made is entirely up to you.

What do you think? Can Tarot readers become friends with their clients and still read their cards in a professional context?

Trusting Your Intuition

26. March 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: blog · Tags: , , , ,

I often wonder whether I’m psychic — or a very sharp observer.

See, that’s the thing about intuition. Such a big deal can be made over being “intuitive” or “psychic” — when it’s merely using 3 common skills that we all have.

Listen. Trust. Observe.

Call it spiritual. Sure. Whatever.

Or call it survival. Absolutely. Learn from those before.

Or call it street-smarts. Exactly. Watch your ass.

Whichever way you slice it, there is an internal wisdom freely available to those who seek it.

I’m often asked, “How can I become more intuitive?”

Listen. Trust. Observe.

Use “divination” tools (Tarot, IChing, Runes, etc.,) to help you focus. Remember: they’re an aid, not an overlord.

One of the most important tips that I share with my Tarot 101 students is — trust the cards. Tarot cards never lie, unless we are lying to ourselves. And only you know the difference.

The cards are an extension of our intuition — what we already know — and reflect as much. It’s learning how to merge with the picture, in trust.

These things take time. Trust takes time. When I first started doing Tarot sessions, I’d stress out over whether or not I read the cards “correctly”. What if I told them the “wrong” thing?

It was a frightening road. But after years of practice and reflection, it is much easier to feel confident in the words that come out of my mouth, without second-guessing myself into misery.

Wisdom will never steer us wrong.

Vintage Shivaya: Tips for Working A Private Tarot Event

22. March 2012 · 8 comments · Categories: blog · Tags: , , , , ,

I’m highly selective about reading Tarot cards at private events — and am sure my $$ rate is worth my precious energy. Private events can be a great gig — happy people, easy cash — or a potential nightmare.

So, here are my tips from 10 years of screw-ups and successes with private Tarot parties.

1. WHERE, WHEN, WHY?

Figure out what type of gig you want. This is a crucial 1st step. Restaurants? Hotel events? Private house parties? Bars? Every one holds a different type of vibe — so make sure it fits exactly with what you desire. I don’t do readings past 9pm and will chill the entire day before a party. My power time to read is 10-6pm, so I’m sure to be well rested for any night gig. I decline any type of bar event and prefer quiet, private house parties with 10 people max.

2. JUST SAY NO TO DESPERATE CASH

Never, never, never take a gig just for cash. Never. Always be highly alert as to your client, environment in which you’ll read, length of time and type of people. It can truly be a crash-and-burn experience if you grab a gig out of desperation.

3. LIST YOUR EVENT RATE

Be VERY clear about your rate. There’s nothing more irritating when I visit a website and no rate can be found. I find the mystery completely unprofessional and will certainly not take the extra step to email and wait for your response. Stating your rate also saves you from future miscommunication — such as when a client says, “I thought you said x amount per hour?” and hands you a check that’s $200 less than what you expect to see at the end of a long night.

Not listing your rate makes me think that you have something to hide, are ashamed of what you charge, or have such an exorbitant fee that you fear stating it. LIST YOUR RATE. Here’s how I list my services.

4. WHAT TO DISCUSS WITH THE EVENT COORDINATOR

Be very clear about your role and type of session you’ll do at the event. Either write it all up in a contract or make sure you have a lengthy conversation with the event coordinator. Ask if they have any questions or concerns.

State in no uncertain terms: 

  • length of session — and stick to it or you’ll end up with unpaid time!
  • total number of clients per hour/party (include a 5 minute break per hour)
  • what type of room set-up and view the event space, if possible
  • your policy for sessions with tipsy/drunk clients
  • clarifying if any minors will be at this party
  • your rate and how you like to be paid (cash/check/online) and if a deposit is required
  • cancellation/refund policy

5. WHAT TO BRING WITH YOUR CARDS

  • a timer
  • a bottle of water
  • your accoutrements (rocks, crystals, candle if allowed)
  • biz cards

6. KEEP IT SIMPLE

  • Relax. Have fun but remember that it’s a work gig. Be professional. Leave when you’re done.
  • Wash your hands during and after the party. Sage your cards when you get home.

7. FINAL TIPS

  • Be direct.
  • Be clear.
  • Be professional.

All 3 will do you a world of good when it comes to booking parties. Reputation is everything in this biz. Always be aware that reputation both precedes and follows you. You’ll have at least 10+ people who see who you are, what you do and will tell 10+ friends about their reading.

Offer the host a free reading at the end of the night. It’s a great way to say thank you for the gig.

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