SHIVAYA WELLNESS

I often take Vermont’s healing powers for granted after living here 6 years. This particular summer has been one of the most beautiful–languid sunsets, layers upon layers of green mountains, fecund air and exploding gardens. Everything seems…happy.

Last night, I had dinner with my Dad. I’m usually filled with anxiety right before he arrives and the past seems to choke me in its grip. Now, I’m 40 years old. I know my strength. It’s taken many years to heal from childhood wounds. Yet when Dad arrives, it’s like I haven’t moved an inch. At least that’s the illusion, the imprint, my mind holds. I feel small. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m amazed at the amount of messages around me when I open my eyes. Here are some license plates & “random” writing from my recent mini-road trip:

Let it Be
In Everything Give Thanks (splashed across the back of a VW Bug in cursive writing),
Life is Good
333
BonnFemme
FtHpLov
Honor the Dead, Heal the Wounded, End the War (the most appropriate…)

This was the 1st trip home after my Mom passed. I think she was with me all the way south…

A close friend of mine commented that I was pretty vulnerable in my previous post about my Mom. So be it. It’s good to be open–and it’s never come easy for me. It’s a mix of reasons. I have Scorpio rising–and Scorpios are all about space and secrets. I’m not one to show grief in public. I do much better with warmth and pure rage.

But going through the process of losing my Mom has made me even more reflective. It’s exactly that: a process. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s much to be said about the lessons learned in hindsight. Many of you know that my Mom passed a few weeks ago, right after I returned home from my FL road trip. That’s just like my Mom–planning everything out so that it doesn’t inconvenience anyone.

I’ve had time to breathe and reflect now that I’m back in my beloved VT. Freedom and happiness come to mind for both of us. Many people have said they’re sorry for my loss–but it really isn’t a loss. Let me explain. Read the rest of this entry »