The God Question

I was once a hard-core Christian (read “The Reluctant Tarot Reader” for the sordid details) and walked away from the church for being gay, but never cut my connection to God. Yet I avoided “prayer”, “God” in Tarot sessions. “Goddess” was safer but even that, I used sparingly. When I asked clients to breathe and ground, I didn’t want them to think it was prayer because who knew their God trauma? I also didn’t want them to think I was a religious nut.

As I continue to heal my wounds and view it all as a story of my soul’s journey, I’m incorporating those words again. I’m not a Christian but see prayer as an important aspect of connection to our Higher Self/God. Asking for help isn’t humiliating but a practice in humility because we don’t have all of the answers as humans. I certainly don’t as a reader but provide guidance and possibilities. Even when I do Reiki, I always ask God/dess to heal them according to Her will.

I used to be paralyzed in sessions, fearing how my words would be heard. After 14 years, I’m able to trust because I pray for the wisdom to receive and speak it. Yet it shocks me a little when I say “God” and “prayer” and feel that old resistance.

Yesterday, I advised a client that when they felt angry over giving money/time to those who were ungrateful, they should imagine it going straight back to the Divine and remember that everything given with a generous heart will surely return, if they are able to receive it. Avoid thinking about those who cause suffering and imagine everything given to God as a personal thank you. We don’t own any of it — money, gifts, health, body — and won’t take it with us. I probably said “God” 10x but rolled with it. My client was grateful, as it fit with her religious background and beliefs.
For me, it started with God and will continue past this life. I’m just glad we found a way to walk together now, as well as help clients feel more freedom in their lives.

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