Steps To Being A Powerful Woman

I deeply admire and love women, and I love being a woman. Now that the Empress energy of Spring Equinox is upon us, it’s a great time to share one of the most popular essays from The Reluctant Tarot Reader — “Steps To Being A Powerful Woman” — for your reading pleasure.


  • Don’t merely say that you are powerful. Own it.
  • Say no. Often. Mean it.
  • Look men directly in the eye and tell the truth. Start with yourself.
  • Appreciate your body in every facet of aging. Stop telling her she isn’t good enough.
  • Practice shoulder opening exercises. Nothing says ‘queen’ like an upright carriage.
  • Find ways to love yourself. Learn to speak kindly. This is the key to everything.
  • You are not your rape. You are not your abuse. You are a powerful woman.
  • Learn the power of yoni. She rules the world. Your yoni’s voice may be a whisper. But oh, the secrets she could tell.
  • Sacrifice your sacrificial self on the altar. Finally. The Old Testament times are over. God isn’t asking for your firstborn. Stop asking for permission to be here. Be here.
  • You came with a plan, and you are perfect in that plan. By the way, that plan has a built-in elastic waistband.
  • Speak confidently. Your life is not held in a question mark.
  • Know when to listen.
  • Tell your breasts how fabulous they are, how nurturing — even if they sag or are no longer attached to your body. They are still yours — and they are beautiful.
  • Throw out your modern iron maidens.
  • Listen to birds. Step away from your computer. See the sky. Don’t forget Nature.
  • Wise women tell tales. Own your story. Truth will follow you anywhere.
  • You are not your father’s disappointment. Step out of the glare.
  • Old lovers are still your mirror. It’s not about letting go. It’s learning how to gaze deeply, then place the mirror back in the drawer.
  • Do battle with your inner tyrant. Tell her/him that they are no longer welcome. Know that they may return — but you hold the keys to entrance.
  • Find a way to understand the word contentment.
  • Remember the boy who said you were ugly? He lied.
  • Memorize a line of poetry, kirtan, a lover’s letter. Carry it like a flashlight in the dark.
  • No one is below you. Or above you. Every job is valuable. Every heart is vulnerable. Learn to see through illusion.
  • Life can be bite-sized. Discover what you can handle and stop there. No pain, no gain is bullshit.
  • Embrace your intuition. She is your most trusted ally. If you have forgotten her, woo her back. Believe again. Believe.
  • Everyone begins as a woman. Everyone. Let that comfort you.
  • Even when there is no hope, your life will continue. It can’t help but do so.
  • Death is the most misunderstood blessing in the Universe. Embrace your Crone. She is the one who guides you into the Mysteries.
  • Find your female god within. Bring her back. Shine the light.
  • For every moment of grace, there is suffering. Love guarantees nothing but presence.
  • The greatest tenderness and most ruthless protector births from a self-aware woman.
  • Don’t wait for others to recognize your power. Just use it.
  • Allow yourself the space and grace to fuck up.
  • Know when to step back and allow another woman to step ahead.
  • If you can’t trust your intuition, save your money and don’t go to a psychic.
  • Freedom isn’t with the next lover or running to some tropical island. Freedom is looking yourself straight in the eye at your darkest moment — and still saying yes.
  • Our moon is one of our greatest times of power. Once you wrap your head around this koan, you’ll understand why men have sought to suppress us for eons.
  • Women will rule the world once we allow ourselves to rule the world. Be part of the shift.
  • Bring yourself into alignment with your present purpose. All of your previous goals, failures and flounderings have brought you to this moment. Perfectly.
  • Deal with your pain. It doesn’t simply free you — it liberates the women to come. Set them free.

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