After 5 years of doing weekly Tarot sessions at the Pyramid, I stepped away from public readings to devote more time to writing. Though I still teach monthly classes and do phone sessions, this wasn’t an easy decision. I had many, many devoted clients who enjoyed sitting down with me over the cards. A considerable portion of my income came from those sessions. I loved the structure of being at the Pyramid on weekends, and actually wearing clothes other than my yoga pants.
But when it’s time, it’s time.
This is where intuition knocks loudly and insistently on the door of our hearts: when it’s time to change. It doesn’t mean that the reasons to stay aren’t perfectly valid. Yet when change arrives — and we always know when it does — it’s a choice of whether to listen and follow.
No one said it was easy.
When I was younger, I moved all over the place. Across the country and back, settling in cool towns and cities simply for the adventure of new. I often didn’t know a soul, and was lucky if I had enough money for security and first month’s rent. If I felt the urge, I moved. No one stopped me. In fact, many saw this as adventurous and envied my apparent lack of desire for a settled life.
Well, I have a different take on adventure now in my 40s. Those were bold moves that my younger self took, but it was often out of anxiety and fear of commitment to person/place/thing. My longest relationship was with my cats, who went everywhere with me. Otherwise, it was me and the road — and yet another apartment.
Was it risky? Perhaps. Maybe I just wanted to feel movement and freedom. Maybe I wanted to be one step ahead of no, sorry, don’t want to be with you or when are you going to get a real job?
Running was easy.
I think it takes even more courage now to meet change full-on and say yes, without packing up my boxes. I can acknowledge the pulls of my heart without drawing out the arsenal. I can say, okay, life…what’s next? and not fear that any change to my environment will mean destruction.
Stepping in faith, not knowing the outcome, is where we find out if we actually trust our intuition.
I’ve had to explain to many people that I haven’t left the Pyramid, and that’s okay. It’s like an ongoing therapy session as I check in and see how it feels when I talk about the switch. And I’m happy to report that the discomfort I felt in the beginning has waned as I’ve watched how my life has moved around the void made by my decision. Cool book projects arrived (like editing Laurie’s book, The Medium Chronicles), an increase in phone sessions and classes — and most of all, time to think and write.
Those adventures of my early years taught me that I was an expert at survival. Now, at the midpoint, I can see that my intuition has always wanted the best for me — and that I can trust where she leads in the midst of change.