First, congratulations on being brave. A Tarot reading may not seem like a big deal — they are “just cards” to some — but potentially wonderful insights are about to come into your life. It is a big deal.

Which leads up to my most important suggestion: know your reader. How? Google. Ask questions. Check up on them. Ask how long they’ve been doing Tarot. If they seem hesitant or offended, get the fuck out. No question. You wouldn’t hand your car to a mechanic without any background check or referral, would you? (And if you would, I can’t help you.) Don’t hand your mind and energy over to someone you don’t know.

Also, don’t be scared of any psychic or Tarot reader. The true ones are respectful guides and are very human and friendly. Avoid all others.

Don’t let cost get in your way. They are many awesome readers who charge well for their work. Again, it’s all in what you consider to be quality vs. quantity. One session with a well-regarded reader may last you for years, while a crappy one can last even longer. Once again, trust your gut. If you like the person, try not to balk at the price.

A Tarot reading will show a) how well you can speak up for yourself and b) whether you trust your own intuition. A reading isn’t about being blindsided with information that has no relevance to your life. Whatever question you are asking, you already know the answer. The cards simply illuminate. They’ll also show if you are lying to yourself, but a reading should never be accusatory or guilt-ridden. A Tarot reader has her own issues, so don’t forget: we’re human, just like you. 

If you trust your reader enough to begin, begin. Try to relax as much as you can. Taking a few breaths to quiet down is essential for a successful reading. Your responsibility is to remain as present as possible. Remain cautiously open until she gets into the cards. Focus on what you need. This is very difficult for some. Ask a question that revolves around you, even if it has to do with someone else. Such as: what can I learn about this conflict with X?

Some readers will take control of the reading right away, but most will ask what you want to know. I’m more of an interactive reader, so I ask my clients to shuffle the deck and focus on a question or situation.

Once the cards are back on the table, I’ll ask what you need to know. This startles some — as they are used to letting a psychic prattle on, telling them what to do. That’s not me — I’m too much of a teacher who needs the interaction. We both learn together.

Give the reader a few minutes to gather her thoughts — she may not jump right in. This doesn’t mean that it’s bad news. She’s allowing the message and picture to come through and merge together. Take a breath, and wait. It’s polite and many readers do not want the distraction of chatter or “filling in” the silence. However, there is always time later for questions and if a card or explanation isn’t clear, ask. Take a photo of the spread and look up each card, if need be. Your reader is a guide and will happily go over any part of the reading.

You may get nervous seeing cards upside down (reversed). Don’t be. Some readers will turn them upright, but I view reversed cards as filling out the entire scene. A few cards are actually very positive when reversed, depending on where they are placed.

Your reader should do everything in her power to make you feel at ease. This doesn’t mean that she’ll sugarcoat the truth. However, there is no place for spooky predictions or terrifying prognoses. You both share a common humanity. If they start saying you have a dark aura or need a longer reading at $$ cost to clear your ghosts, you know what to do, right? (If not, see above.)

And yes, you’re going to die someday. Let me get that out of the way right now. Don’t let the XIII Death card freak you. It’s truly one of the most beautiful cards in the Tarot.

You may feel overwhelmed, but any virginal experience is bound to have that quality. The way I see it — and I’ve read for thousands over the years — is that what you need from the reading will stay with you. Don’t stress if you can’t remember every little thing, or if your reader was off on a few points (I’d be more concerned if she was 100% accurate). The messages you need will stay with you. More than likely, you will hear the same ones over and over through different avenues. Be sure to listen.

And congrats. You’re no longer a Tarot virgin.