Neck muscles like ropes.

Red hair flowing down well past her shoulders.

Body tight, with the carriage of a dancer.

I mentioned that I didn’t feel comfortable doing a headstand since I was on my period.

“Oh, I’m so old, I wouldn’t know anything about that,” she joked.

Old? I thought. She couldn’t have been past 55. Here she was, with her enviable body teaching a yoga class while believing she was old.

Obviously in jest. But I could tell by the way she emphasized “old” that she meant it. Felt it. As if menopause wiped out every remembrance of youth.

Her statement added one more to the plethora I’ve heard from women in their 50s on up. And since I am less than a decade from that decade, I pay attention.

What these women don’t realize is that I listen.

They are the matriarchy for me.

They are teaching me how to embrace change, embrace the aging body, embrace what is left of this particular experience before I go on to the next.

They are my teachers.

They are the Crone.

Unfortunately, very few have been taught in the ways of the Wise Woman. There’s a huge disconnect in society to this prescient being — which means we need her now more than ever.

I’m not blaming the media. The media reflects what we want to see and hear.

I’m not judging women. Everyone’s life is their own with which to play.

However, what I’d like women to know — and I greatly admire connected, older women — is that I am in their classroom right now. I don’t have grandmothers or a mother anymore. I was raised to believe that women were submissive to men and act as their dry erase board. Seen, not heard. The audience, not the teacher. The mother/wife with no other aspirations who slowly fades away.

I’ve had to re-learn everything, while never believing it in the first place.

Now that I approach and acknowledge the last half of my life — which I happily embrace — I am calling my teachers. The Wise Women. The ones who welcome my emerging Crone.

I’m not age-obsessed. I’m wisdom-obsessed. Why do you think I came back? Feminine energies are deeply transforming the Earth. Who better to represent her than the women who possess the magical mystery of the Crone?

This isn’t about death. It’s never just about death. The Crone is the woman with the ability to see beyond “this mortal coil” (and truly, she’s faced death again and again and again.) She is one who can play in the vortex of eternity. She is the ultimate healer because she has been both Maiden and Mother, whether or not she has actually had children in this lifetime.

Re-think the fairy tales.

“You’re in the most powerful period of your life right now,” I said.

“Really? How?”

“You’ve moved beyond the time of your blood — which is why men separated women because they feared and respected its power — and now you have all of the wisdom of the Maiden and the Mother to use. You’ve got it all. Very magical.”

These statements can easily end up on the junkheap of pretty sounding words. Magic and power and baking bread take practice just as much as belief. If we’ve grown up with connected women, then our union with the Crone will be much easier. If we see her as a bitter old thing, invisible to society, then it will surely be an uphill battle as we enter the mystery.

Women are the change. Women are the example. And good lord, how can a powerful woman ever be invisible? We are as invisible as invisible does.

Quite often, this feeling of invisibility is in direct relation to being noticed by men. The ever-present “male gaze” which has turned elsewhere.

There are others who notice you. Namely, younger women.

Believe in your beautiful, wise soul. Women like me — who look up to you — are listening.

—-

CRONE GODDESSES (hat-tip: Goddess Guide)

Ala (Nigerian) : The spirits of the dead find peace in her womb.

Ama No Uzumi (Japanese) : A Shinto ancestral Goddess of longevity, protection and psychic abilities.

Asase Yaa (West African) : She represents the womb of the earth from whom we are all birthed and will return to at our death.

Annis (Celtic) : A frightening old woman, keeper of wisdom and old ways.

Badb: (Irish) A shape shifting warrior Goddess who symbolizes the cycles of life and death, wisdom and inspiration.

Baubo (Greek) : A bawdy Goddess who uses female sexuality and laughter to raise a smile from Demeter.

Baba Yaga (Russian) : In Slavic mythology she is the wild old woman; the witch; and mistress of magic.

Ceridwen (Celtic) : The Keeper of the Cauldron.

Cailleach Bear (Celtic): The hag and destroyer Goddess who ruled over disease, death, wisdom, seasonal rites and weather magic.

Elli (Nordic) : Goddess of old age, she defeated Thor.

Grandmother Spiderwoman (Native American) : An old wise woman who gave man the sun and fire.

Ereshkigal (Sumerian): Goddess of the Underworld.

Estsanatlehi (Native American) : Goddess of life, death and immortality.

Hekate (Greek) : Goddess of the underworld and magic.

Hella (Nordic) : Ruler of Helheim, the land of the dead.

Inari (Japanese) : She guides and protects the spirits of the dead.

Kali (Indian) : Goddess of destruction and rebirth.

Kalma (Finnish) : Underworld Goddess of death and decay.

Lara (Roman): Mother of the dead.

Libitina (Roman): Goddess of funerals and pyres.

Lilith (Hebrew): Adam’s first wife and guardian of women’s mysteries.

Macha (Irish): The wild woman who battles against injustice to woman and children.

Mórrígan (Celtic): Crow Goddess who understands the nature of death.

Mother Holle (German): The Wise Queen of Winter.

Nicneven (Celtic): Goddess of Magic and winter.

Nephthys (Egyptian): A funerary Goddess associated with death, magic and reincarnation.

Sedna (Inuit): Mistress of life and death.

XochiQuetzal (Mexican): Goddess of the cycles of life celebrated on the Day Of the Dead.