[Update: I recently had a twitterfest with a fellow Tarotist who asked me how to "get through" to a defensive client during a session. Our job as readers isn't to "get through" as much as be present for the message. How you convey that message separates the truly skilled reader from the amateur. What the client does with the message is entirely up to them. My post from last June, "It's All in How You Say It" expands on this -- and also check out Bonnie Cehovet's "Tell It Like It Is" post.]

I was reminded again today that the work I do isn’t about parlor tricks or dazzling someone with spiritual knowledge. It’s about conveying the particular message for the client as simply and articulately as I can. Everyone is unique in the way that they receive. It takes many sessions to hone this skill — believe it or not, even psychic work is all about practice. My years of teaching help so much in this regard. It’s all in the tone of voice and careful choosing of words, while sensing how that person will receive the message without offense. Sometimes I’m more direct, other times quite gentle. I may give more details or let the person figure some details on their own. Though it doesn’t happen often, I’ve kept certain information to myself because their spiritual task is to find a way through the darkness. A session can be quite the dance — that’s why I always ask for help!

I’ve also had personal readings which shocked me with their utter tone-deaf conveyance.

The last thing an intuitive needs in a reading is for someone to shut down — and if the messages are said insensitively, there is a large chance that you will lose your client. I had one Feng Shui/astrologer a few years ago ask me to list a few things that I wanted in my life. I answered, with some vulnerability, that I wanted to be loved. Oh, please. That just sounds like you want a puppy. C’mon! she replied. Though I half-heartedly laughed, my heart shrank with her caustic response and slowly filled with anger. I silently promised that I’d always try to be more sensitive with a client.

Fortunately, the majority of my personal readings have been with wonderful psychic/healers–and I’ve learned so much about what not to do after the few awful ones.

With this is mind, what are the fastest ways a healer can burn out and/or lose their clients?

• Being a know-it-all or having a “guru” complex.
• Trying to heal everyone, rather than waiting for them to come to you.
• Being tone-deaf to your client’s spirit because you’d rather just get the message out. Sometimes they just aren’t ready for it.
• Believing you’re “more spiritual” than your client.
• Blaming all your “negative” clients for burning you out, rather than admit your role in attracting them.
• Taking your gift for granted and losing the spirit of gratitude.
• Dazzling someone with your ability to “see”, rather than listening to where they are in the moment.

When you sense a person’s spirit without them saying a word, this is where your intuitive gifts truly shine. It’s not about hammering home a message. I’m not there to beat a client over the head. I’m not there to create a purpose (even the attempt is a spiritual disservice to them.) I advise. I listen. I tell them what I see, in a manner that is appropriate. I’m not saying that I get it right every time–but from the feedback I’ve received, I’m improving.